One Month…

My father died one month ago today. I don’t know where the time went.

Four days ago, I watched the Thanksgiving parade with tears in my eyes, and a strong yearning in my chest. Memories of waking up on Thanksgiving morning to my father switching back and forth between parade coverage on NBC and CBS filled my mind. I can vividly remember the way he yelled for my brothers and me to come in when Santa was about to appear on the screen. It meant we could finally, after secretly making Christmas lists since July, talk about Christmas out loud.

Thanksgiving was hard this year, as I imagine it will be for years to come. But even with everything that’s happened over the past few months, I haven’t lost touch of what I’m most thankful for. So I’ve decided to honor this day by making a list of the people and things I appreciate most in my life.

I am thankful…

  • For my family, especially my mother, and two brothers, Adam and David. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the last few months without them.
  • For my adorable nephew, Nicholas, and my two awesome sisters-in-law, Angela and Sarah. Plus my almost-sister, Dana.
  • For Jeff (you read that right). He came back into my life right when I needed him most, and I am so happy to have such a loving and caring boyfriend by my side.
  • To have so many wonderful friends. I’m especially lucky to have my best friend, Dara, who is always there for me, and, by the way, just got engaged to her boyfriend, Ian, at the beginning of this month! Hurray! I can’t believe my best friend from PRESCHOOL is getting married! It’s surreal!
  • That although my father is not longer here, I have many wonderful memories of my time spent with him.
  • That even though I’m unemployed right now, I still have a roof over my head and food to eat.
  • For my mother’s cooking.
  • For wine, chocolate, and pasta.
  • That even though I haven’t exactly been at the gym every day over the past two months, I know I have the strength to get back in shape soon.
  • That I am young, healthy, and that the biopsy result was negative. For real this time.
  • That Christmas is coming, and although it will be hard to get through, a new year is right around the corner.

My father died a month ago today, and if I can take anything positive out of losing him, it’s that I’m going to try really hard not to take the things I’m thankful for for granted.

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12 comments

  1. I am so glad that everything is going well for you Rebecca. You have had a really hard year. SO HAPPY to hear that the biopsy was negative!! Everytime that I go to Uncommon Grounds or Crossgates I think of our lunch dates. Miss you! Happy Holidays 🙂

  2. Great news on the biopsy! I’m sure that’s a huge relief to you and your family! Having such a great support system around you is crucial for healthy grieving, so I’m happy that you have that. I think it’s a great way to honor the one month mark for your dad by doing a gratitude list!

  3. I’m happy to read this post, Rebecca, simply to hear how you’re doing. I cannot imagine how painful the holiday was for you. But you are surround by love — and good health — and that most certainly has helped, I’m sure. It’s wonderful to focus on the positive in the midst of grieving. It’s indeed possible to hold two opposing thoughts at the same time. You are a beautiful reminder of this!

  4. I lost my dad in March this year, so this holiday season will be hard, but not as raw as it will be for you. Glad you have friends and family for support. (((hugs)))

  5. You are so brave. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you at this time and yet the fact that you can find the strength to think about what you are thankful for is astounding.
    I’m praying for you and your family! I’m so glad you have them there to support you and I’m so glad your biopsy result was negative.
    Stay strong!

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