February Confessions? I know what you’re thinking:
“How can you possibly be writing a February confessions post when it’s only the second day of February?”
Or maybe I’m the only one thinking that. Either way, I do what I want.
I’ve done Confessions posts in the past and they’re always so fun to write, and hopefully fun to read. Feel free to chime in with your own February confessions in the comments!
Without further ado, here are some things I just need to get off my chest.
My jeans don’t fit.
My jeans don’t fit because I’ve been squatting like I’ve never squatted before. I mentioned in my post last week that I started lifting heavy at a gym called Strength Ratio. Well, nobody told me that lifting close to my body weight would mean I’d have to buy new pants.
For the first time in my life, my jean size has gone up and I’m not that concerned about it. It’s a pretty awesome feeling to not worry about your weight because you can physically see and feel your own strength.
My only problem with it is I hate jean shopping. Anyone else?
I rarely brush my hair.
I mean it. I don’t. I’m too lazy. This very confession is the reason I love my hair stylist Shannon. She gets me. When I tell her to cut and style my hair so that I never have to do anything to it, she understands.
I also don’t wear makeup, which, if you knew me 10 years ago when I was dead set on becoming a cosmetologist, might seem completely bizarre to you. I dropped out of college, started working at Sephora and had grand plans of becoming a famous makeup artist.
And now I don’t wear makeup. Mostly because of the time and effort it takes to clean it off. I mean, I really think black eyeliner is designed to stay under your eyes for at least three days, no matter how hard you try to get it off. I can’t be the only one.
On Wednesday I took the last dose of my antidepressant.
Let me preface this by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with being on antidepressants. They’ve helped me tremendously for the past 6.5 years. That said, I’ve been wanting to get off mine for a while now.
I’ve talked about my stuggles with anxiety before and I plan to write a whole other post about it next week (with a giveaway!). So I won’t say too much about my reasons for getting off my meds in this post. What I will say is that I’ve been weaning off my medication since November 2016. It was a very slow and steady process, filled with numerous ups and downs. If you’ve ever started or stopped an antidepressant before, you probably know the side effects can be brutal. I had my fair share of crying spells and mood swings. But now I’m happy to say I’m completely done and feeling pretty good about it so far.
I’m camera shy.
Actually, scratch that, I’m just shy in general. If you know me in person you might not believe me because I can be SO LOUD and I literally talk to everyone. Hell, I wrote for a newspaper and had to interview random people on the street (omg, see my confession about anxiety above). Even so, I can be super awkward and self-conscious. Especially when it comes to having my picture taken. I don’t think I’m particularly photogenic, so when my friend Lee asked me to model some of her pottery for her, I just about had a panic attack at the mere thought of it.
But 2018 is apparently the year of forcing myself to do things I’m uncomfortable with (I decided that just now). So I brushed my hair, put on some makeup (See Confession #2) and became a pottery model. Just like that.
And you know what, it wasn’t bad at all! In fact, it was actually fun!
I eat boxed macaroni and cheese.
A friend recently told me that my Instagram posts make her jealous because all she eats is boxed macaroni and cheese. And I said, “grrrrrl, so do I!” And frozen pizza. And frozen veggie burgers. And lots of other lazy foods.
I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again, posts on social media are just a small representation of real life. Sure, I love cooking everything from scratch and eating at all the delicous restaurants in Asheville but it’s not all I do, even though my posts might make it seem as such.
Some nights I don’t want to do anything but sit in my pajamas and eat a frozen pizza. In fact, one of my favorite dinners is veggie hot dogs with Annie’s macaroni and cheese.
What is your favorite lazy food?
Writing takes me forever.
In the past week, I’ve received so many compliments on my blog and my writing style. I don’t know how to begin to thank you for your kind words and encouragement. The truth is, even though I love writing, it’s a huge source of anxiety for me. I don’t have an issue once I get started but getting in the right mindset to actually sit down and write a blog post takes me forever, which is why the frequency of my blog posts has waxed and waned over the years.
I get so anxious and overwhelmed about my writing that when I used to write for the paper, sometimes I couldn’t even read my stories after they were published. Silly, I know, but you’re your own worst critic, right?
I’m a little bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing, which usually results in me writing and rewriting the same sentence multiple times before I am satisfied with it. This is why writing even a three paragraph blog post can take me all day.
You have no idea how much it motivates me to hear that even a handful of you are reading my blog and enjoying it. It also terrifies me, which, truthfully, is another reason I’ve deserted blogging in the past; the pressure I put on myself is overwhelming at times. But, as I said above, 2018 is the year of forcing myself to do things I’m uncomfortable with, so as long as you’re still reading, I’ll keep writing. Truly, thank you!
Now, let’s hear it! I want to know your February confessions, even though it’s only the second day of February! Spill it!
Have a wonderful day! <3