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Hello. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately so this post is just going to be a big brain dump.
I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately and it’s not that anything bad has happened in my life. In fact, I’ve experienced a ton of GOOD things recently! But the thing about me and my anxiety is that even good things can feel overwhelming.
I feel like my anxiety has been in overdrive since mid-September. First, there was the flea situation, then there was the lump situation (working on an update for that, by the way), not to mention getting ready for the Midterms (because Jeff is the Chair of our county’s Democratic Party) and taking the leap to teach an Instagram class this past weekend. I have been REALLY stressed.
I’m trying to focus on self-care and less critical self-talk. A lot of times I tell myself I shouldn’t feel a certain way but the truth is you can’t control your thoughts and feelings, you can only control what you do with them. There are no shoulds or shouldn’ts.
I beat myself up all the time because my anxiety prevents from doing the simplest tasks. I stress out over things that I WANT to do. I want to blog. I want to teach people how to use Instagram. I want to meet a friend for coffee. I want to clean my house. I want to go to the gym. So why do I start to dread it all?
My mom is coming to visit on Monday and I’ve been looking forward to it for MONTHS. Jeff and I are hosting Thanksgiving at our house for the first time in our lives. My in-laws are coming, too. I AM SO EXCITED. But I’m also overwhelmed by my to-do list. I’m overwhelmed by how much there is to clean (and why can’t we ever keep our house clean?). I’m stressed that we don’t have enough art on the walls and that we haven’t hung the dining room curtains (even though we’ve lived in this house for almost two years). I’m stressed that our bathtub is leaking (and we haven’t had it fixed yet). I’m stressed that I have to grocery shopping (for recipes I’m excited to make). I’m stressing out about getting it all done and I’m beating myself up because I absolutely have time to do it all but my anxiety paralyzes me instead.
Yesterday, after talking to my friend Amanda about not feeling satisfied with any of my blog drafts, she said, “maybe you should write a blog post about feeling blah instead? And call it a blahg post.”
So, here it is, a “BLAHG” post and I’m writing it because I needed to get it all out. I’m writing it because I know I can’t be alone in these feelings. I’m writing it because I’m feeling blah and wanted to talk about it.
As always, thanks for reading.
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