Let It Be

I forgot my face today.

And by face, I mean my glasses, but, for some reason, as I sat down to write this post all I wanted to say was I forgot my face.

The urge to say it swept over me and I decided to just let it be.

One thing I’ve been working on lately in yoga and therapy (see number 34) is having a feeling and just letting it be.

Happiness. Sadness. Impatience. Anger. Anxiety. Guilt. Stress.

Doesn’t matter what feeling. Just accepting it. Not needing a reason or excuse. Because a natural response to something is nothing to feel bad about.

Take this week, for instance. I am insanely busy every night of the week and that stresses me out. At first, I felt guilty for feeling stressed. I mean, every after-work activity on my schedule is something I chose and want to do: holiday parties, dinner with a friend, yoga, pilates. So why should I feel stressed about it!?

Doesn’t matter. I just do and I’m accepting that feeling. There is absolutely no reason to add guilt or beat myself up over it.

Starbucks latte-RoseyRebecca

As I write this, I’m sipping a grande two-pump caramel soy latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top.

You know when you’re going through something crazy in your life and you pick one or two constants to cling to to help you feel calm? This particular latte was my constant when my father was in the hospital. The status of his health was inconsistent and uncertain but the one thing I could rely on from one day to the next was that this latte would taste the same every time I ordered it. 

I think of my father with every sip and for a while I avoided ordering it. I eventually decided, however, that avoidance is not the way to deal with things.  Yes, I think of my father every time I order this drink, but I’m finally OK with that.

I’m just letting it be.

Accepting my reactions and not fighting/avoiding them is something I’m constantly working on. It’s definitely easier said than done, but mastering it is one of my biggest goals for 2014.

So, tell me, what do you do to accept and not fight your natural reactions to everyday life? 

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Why I Fail at Yoga and Elevator Small Talk

Why does Thursday always feel like Friday? Who’s with me?

Three things:

1. My return to yoga on Tuesday  after a six- month hiatus kindly reminded me of a few things:

forgot to do yoga[Source]

  • My attempts to stay present are always squandered by the voices in my head screaming at me to stay present.
  • When the teacher asks everyone to chant ‘om’  at the end of the class, I open my mouth and pretend to chant because I don’t want to ruin anyone’s practice with my horrible, off-key oming.
  • I love yoga. I really, really do. But, in all honestly, I’m just there for the savasana.

2. I skipped my weekly pilates class last night to listen to fiddlers in a barn.

Celtic Fiddle Festival (2)

No, really. That’s what I did.

About two weeks ago, as I was perusing* a local paper, I spotted an advertisement for a Celtic Fiddle Festival. I like fiddles, I thought. And festivals?  I like them, too. It sounded awesome, so I spontaneously surprised Jeff with tickets.

Celtic Fiddle Festival (1)

It wasn’t until after I purchased the tickets, however, that I realized that Celtic Fiddle Festival is the name of a group, not an entire festival. Whatever. Any group that classifies itself as a festival is OK in my book. And, let me tell ya, there is nothing like listening to a couple of guys fiddle their lives away in a barn to make you forget about your worries. Check them out. You won’t be disappointed.

3. I’m horrible at making small talk in elevators.

I was returning to work after lunch one day last week, minding my own business, when the woman standing next to me in the elevator suddenly said “OK- HERE WE GO.”

I was the only other person there but I immediately knew that she wasn’t talking to me. As it turned out, she was just as surprised by her random outburst as I was, and tried to cover it up by saying that she was gearing up to go back to work. Totally normal, right? But, since I am the most awkward person EVER, instead of coming up with a witty reply to make her feel better about giving herself a pep talk in front of a complete stranger, I just half-smiled and made some type of weird grunting giggle noise, which probably made her feel even more uncomfortable (and, honestly, probably a little confused because it was a really strange noise).

Then she waved her shopping bag in the air and enthusiastically said:

“THERE’S A GREAT SALE AT MACY’S TODAY!”

To which I said absolutely nothing. Nothing.

Not because I thought she was a crazy lady talking to herself in the elevator, but because I never know what to say in situations like that. So, again, I threw out my half-smile, weird grunting giggle noise, and left the poor lady standing in the elevator probably thinking that I was a completely normal person and that she was a complete freak, when, in fact, it’s mostly definitely the other way around.

And to prove what a complete FREAK I am, I need to tell you that I planned to take a picture of an empty elevator for this story, but just as I was about to hit the little camera button on my iPhone, a man appeared out of nowhere and scared the crap out of me. So I acted like I was just holding my phone up in the air because that’s just, you know, how I hold my phone. You know, it works better that way. See? Awkward. That’s me.

How do you feel about making small talk with strangers? About oming in yoga? Tell me your thoughts!

*Does anyone say peruse anymore?

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